one two three fourrrrnication!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
