If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
