my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
foreskin is a definite game changer
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
