Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
