PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
