i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
