hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
