So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
