if i died would you start the facebook group?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
