She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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