I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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