I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
