well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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