i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
