How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
