Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
