is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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