i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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