She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
