theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
