dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize