I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
