speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
