Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
