my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
