What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just want to make out with him forever
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
