drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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