I must be too annoying 4 u.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
