Where are you?
In a non slutty way
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
