Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
