I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
