Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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