I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
