Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So many bounce houses so little time
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
