The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
