and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
