hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I didn't notice because vodka
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
