I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
