I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
