Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize