it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
