I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
