If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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