i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I looked at my own cervix.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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