sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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