we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I showed him my bush... on skype.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
