I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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