im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize