How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
