its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
