Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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