I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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