so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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