At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
