I think I died a long time ago.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
