we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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