i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
