at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
