so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
