Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
