Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
