The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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