But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Randomize
