on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Randomize
