Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
