You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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