Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize