last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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