11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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