if you like me you must not know who I am
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
