"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
