WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
