Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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