allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
