how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
