you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
