Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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