She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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