it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize